Breaking: God hates the Cubs

The Cubs and their fans have earned 100 years of failure.

It was supposed to be a quiet ceremony with no publicity.

But when a TBS cameraman saw Rev. Father James L. Greanias spreading holy water in the Cubs dugout several hours before Game 1 of the Division Series on Wednesday, the priest from St. Iakovos Greek Orthodox Church in Valparaiso, Ind. knew the cat was out of the bag.

“Now I guess I’m just another Cubbie Occurrence,” he said.

The seven walks by Ryan Dempster, the grand slam by James Loney, and the lack of clutch hitting from the Cubs sluggers can not be directly traced to Rev. Greanias’ curse-removal ritual.

But the longtime Cubs fan understands what’s coming next, especially if the Cubs bow out of the postseason in the first round. The decision to bring in a priest to remove the “Curse of the Billy Goat” may go down in Cubs lore alongside all the other calamities in franchise history.

The story began a couple days ago, when Cubs Chairman Crane Kenney left a message on Greanis’ voice mail to call him. Greanis thought his friends were playing a prank on him, but when he eventually got in contact with Kenney, he found out the reason for the call.

“He said, ‘I’m a devout Catholic, and I’m not superstitious, but if there is anything there, I want to take care of it,’” Greanis said Thursday.

You could hear crickets chirping in Wrigley when the Dodgers' Loney hit that grand slam. The fans had been waiting for the shoe to drop even with a 2-0 lead. When it happened, it was like 45,000 fans sighed, "Knew that was coming.