Ye shall know the wingers by the stains on their pants

America today: Fraught with peril at every turn.

This frightening development led one of the clerks, undoubtedly a Michelle Malkin reader, to immediately call the Police to report this "suspicious activity." The Midland Police Department and the FBI then detained the cell phone buyers, and one of the local officers included this paragraph in his preliminary internal report, which ended up being leaked to ABC News:

"Upon the arrival of special agents, and as a result of subsequent interviews, it was discovered that members of the group were linked to suspected terrorist cells stationed within the Metroplex."

And just like that - presto! - a secret, deadly plot by one of the thousands of local al Qaeda cells lurking in every community in our country had been uncovered, proving yet again that unparalleled dangers to our family and kids lurk behind every corner – even at the Midland Walmart. This goes to show why we are no longer just American citizens. Instead: "We Are All Homeland Security Agents Now."

[...]

This was all brilliant reporting on Michelle’s part, except for the fact that the whole thing was untrue, nothing more than the rancid fantasies of people who have listened late at night to one too many Dick Cheney speeches about the evildoers lurking among us:

According to Bill Vanderland, agent in charge of Midland's FBI office, no laws were broken when a group of men attempted to purchase a large number of cell phones from the Wal-Mart in the 200 block of Interstate 20 Dec. 18. . . .

Vanderland said Thursday after the ABC report aired that assertions of a connection between a terror cell and the men who attempted to purchase cell phones from a Midland Wal-Mart were invalid.

"There is no known link or demonstrated link or any other kind of link at this point between the people here and any terror cell," he said."

The hysteria unleashed here is as stupid as it is disturbing. What does it even mean to say that the plotting cell phone buyers were linked to "suspected terrorist cells stationed within the Metroplex." Is the Midland Police Department really aware of "terrorist cells stationed within the Metoplex?" If so, wouldn’t they be arresting them?

Nevertheless, as soon as their short are dry the good, torch bearing citizens of Winger Village will storm the Times Building and haul out the offending Traitorous traitors.

Via Atrios