The sad tale of Chuck Knoblauch

From his congressional deposition...

Q Was the first time you used human growth hormone
with Brian McNamee, or had you done that previously?
A I had never done growth hormone previously, never
done steroids. Still to this day, I have never taken a
steroid.
Q No steroids?
A No steroids, ever. So yes, to answer your question,
yes, first time with McNamee.
Q And how did that come about? Do you remember?
A Can I give you a little bit of a personal aside?
Q Sure.
A I had a throwing problem. People that follow
baseball -- I don't know if you guys do or not.
Q Sure.
A But I had a serious throwing problem, and really
struggling in my career, towards the end of my career.
I went to spring training early in 2001, and I am sure
the Yankees have documentation of this because they were
paying me meal money and such. But I went a month early, I
went probably around January -- in the middle of January.
And I worked Monday through Friday, worked my tail off to
correct this problem.
Q This is at the spring training, this is in Tampa?
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A This is in Tampa at the Minor League facility. The
Major League facility is across the street, and the Minor
League facility, it runs year-round. They have guys coming
in and out of there.
Q I'm sorry, I just don't remember when the throwing
problem started. I remember, I just can't --
A Well, Yankee fans will say it started when I first
got there, but that's not really correct.
Q That's not true.
A That's not true. It started probably -- it got
worse at the end of '99, and then 2000 it really consumed
me. It was really -- I got to my wits' end with that.
And then I wanted to try to work it out, and I went
early, and I couldn't do it. Monday through Friday, 3,
4 hours a day, a month before spring training, and I
couldn't do it.
So when spring training started, I felt myself weak,
vulnerable, you know, grabbing for -- trying to get
something -- you know, just weak and vulnerable. And
McNamee happened to approach me in spring training. And
that's the first time I ever heard the three letters HGH or
human growth hormone or anything.
Q He approached you and said maybe this could be of
some use to you? Do you remember the conversation at all?
A Somewhat. I mean, I am not --
Q Again, to the best of your recollection.
Ms. Marshall. You're stepping on him, so --
Mr. Knoblauch. I'm stepping on him?
Ms. Marshall. No, he didn't mean to. Just --
Mr. Clarke. Take your time, Chuck.
Mr. Knoblauch. All right. Ask me again. I'm sorry.
BY MR. SCHILIRO:
Q What do you remember about the conversation, to the
best of your recollection?
A Okay. He approached me and talked about human
growth hormone and said it was a natural substance occurring
in your body, and that this could be of some help to you,
could make you feel better, could replenish -- I mean, he
described to me that you lose growth hormone in your body as
you get older. And that's about the extent that I remember
of the conversation.
And as I stated, being weak and I was trying to hold on
to my career, you know, I made the unfortunate decision to
try it.
Q Uh-huh. And how long did you end up using it?
A I would say, to the best of my knowledge, spring
training and then I stopped sometime during the year.
Q Any reason why you stopped?
A I don't know exactly why. It wasn't working for me.
Q When you had the conversation with Mr. McNamee, did
you think -- with your throwing problem, was that a physical
problem, or do you think it was a psychological problem?
A I still do not know to this day if it was physical
or -- I mean, my arm physically I think was okay. There was
no injury, you know. But it hurt all the time. And
mentally -- I really -- it's a mystery to me to this day. I
don't think about it that much anymore because I'm not
playing baseball, and it's great. But I really have no
answer for that. I still don't. I don't think anybody
does. It's unfortunate.
Q But do you remember in your conversation with him
why he thought it might help specifically?
A I don't remember.
Q You said before this is the only
performance-enhancing substance you have ever taken. You
didn't take any anabolic steroids? I am just talking about
performance-enhancing substances, things that would help you
on the field.
A Well, it never enhanced my performance, so --
Q Right.
A I mean --
Q It didn't work.

Saddest, perhaps, is that Chuck seems to think that Yankee fans never liked him, even though he was a key member of the 1998 team. A great player, especially with the Twins -- he hit an amazing .341/.448/.517 in 1996 -- he ended his career with nothing but bitterness towards a game he'd been playing, and probably loving, since he was a little kid. There were few things sadder than watching Knoblauch during the 2000 season as he stood in the infield looking perplexed and frightened. He would end up in the outfield that season, and in Kansas City the following year. He'd soon be out of baseball, and relieved about that, apparently.