We get mail
One of the Vega's fantastically attractive and remarkably well-informed readers writes:
dear vegacura man,
my wife gave some money to John Kerry's campaign and got an official glossy photo of him and Edwards in return.
help us settle a bet. The photo came inside an official looking folder with what looks like the seal of the usa on it, but when you look closer, the olive branches in the eagle's claw have been replaced with a small flag of the usa on a little flagpole(the arrows are still in the other claw, as is normal.) My wife says this is because it's campaign material, not something that's sent from the government, and that they're just trying to look as if they're the government already. I say Kerry's trying to show he's tough on defense, jettisoning those peacenik olive leaves lest he be accused of being anti-war, and it lets him capture the flag, too. Please help!
Credulous in Cambridge
Dear Cred Cam,
You are both correct. And both incorrect. And since you are from what Philip Gourevitch called, in the Aug. 23 issue of The New Yorker, "the echt-liberal enclave of Cambridge, Massachusetts," you should probably sit down.
Your wife is correct in that the official "seal" is usually a key component of the official "Presidential Seal," which figures pretty prominently on this site. Being the product of Swiss Boarding Schools, Big John would not be so bold as to presume.
And you, my dear Credulous, are correct in that if Kerry featured olive branches, he'd be derided as French. Or, perhaps more accurately, Spanish.
But you are both incorrect in that you think either of those explanations define the God of War's real motivation.
The Holder of Life and Death is finally unveiling his true self. You may have heard that a certain group, Swift Boat Veterans for Coordination with the Bush Campaign, have been running ads reminding Bush's base that, yes, indeed, Kerry is a blood-drenched maniac. Though perhaps undeserving of his THREE PURPLE HEARTS, TWO BRONZE STARS AND ONE SILVER STAR (and a Gold in archery, I think), they tell us, over and over, he was in the thick of it. He would be hit with shrapnel and not even bleed. He would, with cunning premeditation, leap from his boat and chase down some half-clothed, rocket-firing barbarian named Charlie and shoot him in the back. Rambo-like, he led secret missions to Cambodia that were seared in his memory, violating orders for which he could have -- nay, should have -- been court-martialled.
Yes, now that the Swift Boat Mouth Breathers for Busheney have let the proverbial cat out of the bag, the jig is up, the die is cast, the eagle has landed, the cliche is laden... In other words, you echt-liberal, the real John Kerry is emerging, and the NEW SEAL is illustrative of his new war persona emerging, Venus-like, from the foam in the wake of a passing Swift Boat.
As we now celebrate the War in Vietnam as the brilliant global strategy to liberate the victims of Ho Chi Minh's misguided nationalism, the Man Who Courts Death is making a statement. He will bomb you back to the Stone Age, or he will shower democracy on your undeserving ass. Who knows? All depends on what side of the bed mighty John gets out of that morning.
Hope that clears things up for you, but you may want to keep this information to yourself for the time being.
dear vegacura man,
my wife gave some money to John Kerry's campaign and got an official glossy photo of him and Edwards in return.
help us settle a bet. The photo came inside an official looking folder with what looks like the seal of the usa on it, but when you look closer, the olive branches in the eagle's claw have been replaced with a small flag of the usa on a little flagpole(the arrows are still in the other claw, as is normal.) My wife says this is because it's campaign material, not something that's sent from the government, and that they're just trying to look as if they're the government already. I say Kerry's trying to show he's tough on defense, jettisoning those peacenik olive leaves lest he be accused of being anti-war, and it lets him capture the flag, too. Please help!
Credulous in Cambridge
Dear Cred Cam,
You are both correct. And both incorrect. And since you are from what Philip Gourevitch called, in the Aug. 23 issue of The New Yorker, "the echt-liberal enclave of Cambridge, Massachusetts," you should probably sit down.
Your wife is correct in that the official "seal" is usually a key component of the official "Presidential Seal," which figures pretty prominently on this site. Being the product of Swiss Boarding Schools, Big John would not be so bold as to presume.
And you, my dear Credulous, are correct in that if Kerry featured olive branches, he'd be derided as French. Or, perhaps more accurately, Spanish.
But you are both incorrect in that you think either of those explanations define the God of War's real motivation.
The Holder of Life and Death is finally unveiling his true self. You may have heard that a certain group, Swift Boat Veterans for Coordination with the Bush Campaign, have been running ads reminding Bush's base that, yes, indeed, Kerry is a blood-drenched maniac. Though perhaps undeserving of his THREE PURPLE HEARTS, TWO BRONZE STARS AND ONE SILVER STAR (and a Gold in archery, I think), they tell us, over and over, he was in the thick of it. He would be hit with shrapnel and not even bleed. He would, with cunning premeditation, leap from his boat and chase down some half-clothed, rocket-firing barbarian named Charlie and shoot him in the back. Rambo-like, he led secret missions to Cambodia that were seared in his memory, violating orders for which he could have -- nay, should have -- been court-martialled.
Yes, now that the Swift Boat Mouth Breathers for Busheney have let the proverbial cat out of the bag, the jig is up, the die is cast, the eagle has landed, the cliche is laden... In other words, you echt-liberal, the real John Kerry is emerging, and the NEW SEAL is illustrative of his new war persona emerging, Venus-like, from the foam in the wake of a passing Swift Boat.
As we now celebrate the War in Vietnam as the brilliant global strategy to liberate the victims of Ho Chi Minh's misguided nationalism, the Man Who Courts Death is making a statement. He will bomb you back to the Stone Age, or he will shower democracy on your undeserving ass. Who knows? All depends on what side of the bed mighty John gets out of that morning.
Hope that clears things up for you, but you may want to keep this information to yourself for the time being.
posted by John at 9:41 AM
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