What to do in Boston if you don't have convention credentials

No, the Vegacura will not be attending the festivities in Boston this week. It is strange, though, it seems like everyone in the blogosphere is attending, even though only a few dozen blog credentials were issued for Boston (and fewer for New York in August).

Nevertheless, if you are attending, but are bored by tomorrow night's addresses, or you live in Boston and weren't one of the lucky ones to have escaped this week to the Cape and you're looking for something to help you maintain the giddy high left over from the games on Saturday and Sunday, then by all means get yourself to the Zeitgest Gallery in Boston for this.

Early: The Apotheosis of George W. Bush
travesty/polemic
8pm
$10 donation

Ian Maxwell MacKinnon and Eric Zinman present
“THE APOTHEOSIS OF GEORGE W. BUSH”

Vice President Dick Cheney invites you to attend a ceremony marking the
appointment of President Bush as God’s representative on earth. The
President has humbly agreed to accept the awesome responsibility so that his
party may be led to victory in November, after which the war against evil
will be won, along with the passage of a final round of tax cuts. Details
of the selection process remain a matter of national security. The
administration stresses that this is only an preliminary deification; the
official apotheosis and announcement of new executive powers will take place
early next year.

Vice President Cheney will serve as Master of Ceremonies, leading the
faithful on piano in hymns specially commissioned for the occasion. The
event will include anointing with oil provided by Attorney General Ashcroft,
the introduction of a presidential “holy robe”, and the unveiling of a
special mark on the President’s body that was determined to be a sign of
his new exalted status. Non-alcoholic wine will be served along with “Glory
Bread” provided by top-level donors to the re-election effort. The
president will address these topics:

-How the loss of faith in government leads us to have faith in religion as
the best vehicle for delivering crucial social services
-Jesus-as-political philosopher and why Jews can’t get into heaven
-Creating a draft for the “Armies of Compassion” and how God came to choose
the president to lead the world at this urgent time.
-Why it’s called “God Bless AMERICA” and not some other country
-Jesus: Supporter of the Death Penalty?
-How School Prayer brings up test scores
-Declaring “Jesus Day” in your own state or municipality
-How The Ten Commandments brighten public buildings
-Iraq and its special, predestined place in universal and Biblical history

>From the people who brought you “A Bush-Cheney Christmas,” which was called
“hilarious” by Rupert Murdoch’s Boston Herald.

The Zeitgeist is at 1353 Cambridge St., Inman Square, Cambridge.

The show will be reenacted for all of us lucky enough to live within shouting distance of the Republican Convention/Greed fest, in New York in August.