Waiting for a Redeemer

Oh, thank God.

And Giblets.

"Huzzah for the tunnel"

They're baaaaaaaack!

Meanwhile, it's great to know that even if the Pentagon is doing really creepy shit and not telling anyone where they're spending more than the combined budgets of the FDA, National Science Foundation, and NASA, the military industrial complex has a damned good sense of humor about it.

But where's Fafblog?

Brad DeLong, who is also not named "Daniel," but who exists, names the five bestest blog posts of all time. "And a pony" wins, but I agree with Brad's commentators, pick any five from the Medium Lobster and you've got your list right there.

Speaketh, Lobster.

Our vigilant guardians of justice

Well, what a coincidence. As long time Dear Readers know, Thursday is Fafday here at the Vega. So you can imagine my delight when, upon returning home from the dog's morning constitutional, I opened the paper and read,

WASHINGTON, Oct. 3 — When the Justice Department publicly declared torture “abhorrent” in a legal opinion in December 2004, the Bush administration appeared to have abandoned its assertion of nearly unlimited presidential authority to order brutal interrogations.

But soon after Alberto R. Gonzales’s arrival as attorney general in February 2005, the Justice Department issued another opinion, this one in secret. It was a very different document, according to officials briefed on it, an expansive endorsement of the harshest interrogation techniques ever used by the Central Intelligence Agency.

The new opinion, the officials said, for the first time provided explicit authorization to barrage terror suspects with a combination of painful physical and psychological tactics, including head-slapping, simulated drowning and frigid temperatures.

Mr. Gonzales approved the legal memorandum on “combined effects” over the objections of James B. Comey, the deputy attorney general, who was leaving his job after bruising clashes with the White House. Disagreeing with what he viewed as the opinion’s overreaching legal reasoning, Mr. Comey told colleagues at the department that they would all be “ashamed” when the world eventually learned of it.

Later that year, as Congress moved toward outlawing “cruel, inhuman and degrading” treatment, the Justice Department issued another secret opinion, one most lawmakers did not know existed, current and former officials said. The Justice Department document declared that none of the C.I.A. interrogation methods violated that standard.

The classified opinions, never previously disclosed, are a hidden legacy of President Bush’s second term and Mr. Gonzales’s tenure at the Justice Department, where he moved quickly to align it with the White House after a 2004 rebellion by staff lawyers that had thrown policies on surveillance and detention into turmoil.

Congress and the Supreme Court have intervened repeatedly in the last two years to impose limits on interrogations, and the administration has responded as a policy matter by dropping the most extreme techniques. But the 2005 Justice Department opinions remain in effect, and their legal conclusions have been confirmed by several more recent memorandums, officials said. They show how the White House has succeeded in preserving the broadest possible legal latitude for harsh tactics.

If you enjoy the feeling of national shame, read the entire report from Risen, Johnston, and Shane.

Now, even as the high-cheekboned face of the Bush White House tries valiantly to drive her interrogators crazy with her mad circular reasoning, if The Medium Lobster were here, "he'd" counsel her to "let the bad apples bloom."

Thursday Fafblogging

Ah, good times. Good. Fucking. Times.

If you wanna make an omelette...

...you gotta beat two security guards with a fire hose, run over an ol lady with a shopping cart and hit a fifteen year old boy with a bucket a paint. At least that's what Giblets says.

I hope he's right cause that's what we hadda do to get replacement eggs for our omelette. I tried to pay for them regularly but I was in a hurry and I didn't bring normal money cause I think Fun Munny is a lot more fun, that's why it's called Fun Munny! It's more colorful and in steada having boring people like Benjamin Franklin and Andrew Jackson on it it's got Santa Claus and Art Linkletter. Art Linkletter's worth a whole lot of Fun Munny!

Stop and Shop locations in Providence and the greater Rhode Island area do not accept Fun Munny as legal tender.

I would like to say just for one minute that that is not fair at all and that Stop and Shop really should note that in big letters out in front of their store next time cause I sure couldn't tell from looking at their store that they didn't take Fun Munny! What's wrong with it anyway. I can buy a house with this munny. Hotels or a railroad even.

Well Giblets and I were quite upset and we were on a time table as our omelette was gettin burnt real bad and NOBODY FROM THE INTERWEB HAD EMAILED US EGGS IN TIME. For shame Interweb! For shame.

so then we did what we did to get the eggs and now i feel bad.

Giblets says "MY EGGS! Eggs, DANCE for Giblets! DANCE!" but they do not dance. I will pay you back Stop and Shop! I will make amends I am sorry!

This victory omelette is a bitter victory omelette.

Thursday Fafblogging

Ah, the memories.

The election results have come in and they have surprised no one... no one on the side of Giblets that is! It is Giblets in a landslide! Giblets by a whopping three percentage points! Only 49% of the population rejected Giblets! VICTORY! AMERICA HAS SPOKEN!

With this broad mandate, it is time to push aside the mealy-mouthed timid campaign rhetoric Giblets has toyed with before! Giblets will not be "conciliatory" after this historic moment! Tariffs on reading! A flat tax on gay sex! Mandatory prayer before monuments to the Ten Commandments in every class room! A war in every garage, a tortured Arab civilian in every pot! The streets will run with the blood of liberals!

But do not think Giblets will continue to divide the country. Oh no. The days of the bitterly partisan "pro-Giblets" and "anti-Giblets" Americas are over. Giblets is a uniter, not a divider. And he will unite America... UNDER THE CRUSHING FORCE OF HIS IRON HEEL!

Good times. Good times.