Then you'd see what a hero I am, and won't you be sorry you called me a chickenhawk

I know that occasions of horrific tragedy are simply opportunities to unleash ideological rants, particularly if they regard the second amendment. And, personally, as a bored child I used to fantasize saving my fellow congregates from the gun-toting fanatics who'd forced their way into church during the sermon.

But then I grew the fuck up.

Remarkably, Publius has video of the heroics in question.