In which your host reveals he watches women's figure skating

But not the men. No, no. Not the men (not that I am, like Mickey Maus, viscerally averse to doing so).

Anyhoo, while watching the early performers I turned to Madame Cura and wondered aloud why they wear such god-awful costumes. Madame, says I, why can't they wear those wonderful black suits they wear while they train? Wearing those, they'd actually look like, ya know, athletes, and, yes, far more sexy at the same time.

And then Irina Slutskaya came out on the ice. Fantastic.

King Kaufman thinks she looks like she patterned the outfit on the men's figure skaters, but I find that patently untrue and unfair.