March of the Idiots

Penguin ID
Originally uploaded by vegacura.

It's really his beat, so I am really saddened and disappointed that Alicublog's "roy" hasn't picked up on this one.

"March of the Penguins," the conservative film critic and radio host Michael Medved said in an interview, is "the motion picture this summer that most passionately affirms traditional norms like monogamy, sacrifice and child rearing."

Speaking of audiences who feel that movies ignore or belittle such themes, he added: "This is the first movie they've enjoyed since 'The Passion of the Christ.' This is 'The 'Passion of the Penguins.' "

Strangely, the film makers themselves didn't consider the film to be a pawn in our nation's ongoing Kultur War.

In part, the movie's appeal to conservatives may lie in its soft-pedaling of topics like evolution and global warming. The filmmakers say they did not consciously avoid those topics - indeed, they say they are strong believers in evolutionary theory - but they add that they wanted to create a film that would reach as many people as possible.

"It's obvious that global warming has an impact on the reproduction of the penguins," Luc Jaquet, the director, told National Geographic Online. "But much of public opinion appears insensitive to the dangers of global warming. We have to find other ways to communicate to people about it, not just lecture them."

Luc, there are some people who just need to be lectured. Because I have a feeling that these wingnuts now have the perfect argument for global warming -- sympathy for the freezing buggers trying to mate at 70-below. Will the geist of our zeit now posit the "theory" that global warming will make for a more pleasant life for Aptenodytes forsteri? Seems as plausible as intelligent design.

The movie goes on to follow the penguins as they trek back and forth over 70 miles of ice to their breeding ground and huddle together to protect their eggs in temperatures that average 70 degrees below zero Fahrenheit.

To Andrew Coffin, writing in the widely circulated Christian publication World Magazine, that is a winning argument for the theory that life is too complex to have arisen through random selection.

"That any one of these eggs survives is a remarkable feat - and, some might suppose, a strong case for intelligent design," he wrote. "It's sad that acknowledgment of a creator is absent in the examination of such strange and wonderful animals. But it's also a gap easily filled by family discussion after the film."

Sure, like "Hey kids, what fool would design something for which survival is so precarious?"

Is there no single piece of art in our popular culture that is not a topic of adoration or condemnation by these people on the basis of the beholder's political agenda? Can't, as the film's distributor asked, "a bird just be a bird?"

Perhaps not. But at the risk of making Michael Medved's head explode, how about some Fun Penguin Facts."

1 . Generally, penguins are not sexually dimorphic; males and females look alike. Crested penguins are exceptions: the males are more robust and have larger bills (del Hoyo, et al., 1992).

2. During the breeding season, female penguins are sometimes identifiable by muddy footprints on their backs, left by males during mating activity.

3. The greatest single cause for reproductive failure in some species is the mistiming between parents of nest relief during incubation. This usually occurs when the female fails to return from a foraging trip before the male deserts the nest (Ainley, et al., 1983). A male will spontaneously leave the nest and eggs when the motivation to feed overcomes that for incubating the eggs (Groscolas, 1990).

Well, perhaps they have a point. Standing on the wife's back during sex probably does turn on our conservative pals. And leaving the kids to fend for themselves when Dad gets hungry sure does sound like a clear example of monogomous beatitude.

The fact the penguings aren't "sexually dimorphic" can only remind them of Ann Coulter which must certainly add to the erotic frisson these idiots must be feeling.