Troubling injuries

J.C. Christian is worried about our 101st Fighting Keyboardists and others of service age who full-throatedly support the war and yet, sadly, have suffered injuries that make it impossible for them to serve.

I'm beginning to think that the French are surreptitiously injuring the backs of service age patriots throughout the country. They're probably using soccer to accomplish this. It's a very seditious, euro-centric game. The communists imported it after they grew tired of waiting for fluoridated water to weaken us. I'm working very hard to have soccer added to the Glorious Conservative Christian Cultural Revolution's list of things we must destroy.

I need more data to do this. Could you tell me why you remain at home, eating Cheetos in your mother's basements while other's fight the war you so whole-heartedly demanded? Have you injured your backs playing soccer? Do you drink an inordinate amount of fluoridated water?

Meanwhile -- and another hat tip to Attaturk -- the VA made a slight error in the number of wounded they anticipated coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan.

The Veterans Administration assumed it would have to take care of 23,553 patients who are veterans from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan but that number had been revised upward to 103,000, Nicholson told a House of Representatives panel.

103,000.