Traditional Heartland pastimes?

Whoa nellie.

Those kulture of life volks sure have odd sexual...um...proclivities.

Pity Alan Colmes and his total disconnect with what real life is like in the Red States.

AC: "Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?"

NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality... Welcome to domestic life on the farm..."

The ever reliable Jesus' General defends the appropriately named Horsely and introduces us to the new laddie mag for the farm set, Udders.