New chief of Homeland Security chosen
WASHINGTON, Dec. 1, 2004. While some have speculated that President Bush would choose a mere civilian for the job, today the White House announced that a long-time confidant and trusted advisor to the president will be tapped to be the next Homeland Security chief.
"I've known Barney ever since he was a pup," the president was quoted in a statement which was waved at the White House press corps, but not actually released. "He's someone I trust who listens to me and looks at me with those adoring, trusting eyes. Just the thing I'm looking for in a cabinet official. But Barney is more than that, he understand homeland defense. I mean, have you seen this guy with a chew toy? And remember, he's the one who defended me against rogue pretzels early in my first term, so I don't think there's anyone more qualified for the job."
According to Senator Bill Frist and Congressman Denny Hastert, Barney is expected to be confirmed easily by Congress.
Tom Ridge, who has announced he wants to spend more time with his family and make more money in order to send his children to college, is also expected to use his new-found appreciation of and expertise in the use of color to help him land the job as the new head of Martha Stewart Living.
"I've known Barney ever since he was a pup," the president was quoted in a statement which was waved at the White House press corps, but not actually released. "He's someone I trust who listens to me and looks at me with those adoring, trusting eyes. Just the thing I'm looking for in a cabinet official. But Barney is more than that, he understand homeland defense. I mean, have you seen this guy with a chew toy? And remember, he's the one who defended me against rogue pretzels early in my first term, so I don't think there's anyone more qualified for the job."
According to Senator Bill Frist and Congressman Denny Hastert, Barney is expected to be confirmed easily by Congress.
Tom Ridge, who has announced he wants to spend more time with his family and make more money in order to send his children to college, is also expected to use his new-found appreciation of and expertise in the use of color to help him land the job as the new head of Martha Stewart Living.
posted by John at 11:59 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home