Thursday, September 30, 2004

Republicans -- outsourcing American values

The new "911" bill pushed in the House by Hastert is getting some well deserved scrutiny. Especially juicy provisions like this:

Under the Hastert bill, U.S. authorities could send an immigrant to any country, regardless of the likelihood of torture or abuse. The measure would shift to the deportee the burden of proving "by clear and convincing evidence that he or she would be tortured" -- a burden that human rights activists say is impossible to satisfy. It would bar a U.S. court from reviewing the regulations, which would fall under the secretary of homeland security.

The provision would apply retroactively, to people now in detention and those who may have already been secretly deported under classified procedures to countries with well-documented histories of torture and human rights violations.

Giblets is appropriately outraged.

Giblets knows that there are some out there who will say, "Oh, but countries like Saudi Arabia and Syria can do torture cheaper and better than we can, why should we try to compete?" Well, Giblets is holding a little something in the thumbscrews of his heart called patriotism, and Giblets thinks American workers can compete with anyone else in the world! Sure, these other countries have been at it longer than we have, but with gumption and stick-to-it-iveness Americans can rise to the top of anything!

Torture is as American as baseball, apple pie, preventive war, the equating of dissent with treason, and the principle of a commander-in-chief who stands above the law. So stand proud, Americans, and write your congressmen to tell them you don't want your country outsourcing torture.

"Thumbscrews of his heart." Heh heh.

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